I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
