Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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