You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
