so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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