bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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