I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
