youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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