Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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