need another drink. this is the easiest way
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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