fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
