if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
