love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
