I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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