She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
