Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
