It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
