Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
