I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
