Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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