there was a trapeze. enough said
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
