so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
