no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
