i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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