very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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