Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
