there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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