windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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