FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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