I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize