I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
