do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize