if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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