I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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