My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
