If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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