No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
