I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
