We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
