So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
