I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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