you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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