bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
