THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
