"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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