Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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