Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize