She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
