Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
