Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
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