I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
