then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm way too hungover for life right now
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
