remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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