Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You made out with two different species that night
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
