haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
