The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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