I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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