My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
zippers are such a cool invention
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
