i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
