Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
