i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize