do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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