he thought i was a dude.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
