I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
