before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
