a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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