at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
